You never wanted
to be the type
to be immobilised.
Now they ask you
why you always
seem to let
yourself wash away.
I think, like me,
you find it hard
to hear the sea
keep knocking
so you let it in.
You know that, while it's great,
to say
"I will be strong"
you know you're only there
to be engulfed
so why
not play along?
You know that you're supposed to hate
that sensation of letting yourself rot
but
there's something so sexy
about being stripped
to the bone.
Something so thrilling
about self-destruction
as you tumble down
bit by bit.
I think the world was never made
with us in mind
so, still, we sit.
And gorge ourselves on vertigo
and tumble down
bit by bit.
Harvey Fucking Slade
Just wanted to say this is brilliantly written and as someone in a very similar position to you with regard to how they feel about their depression it is really nice to see someone writing so honestly about it.
ReplyDeletePeople really need to break down the stigma surrounding mental health, it effects (or affects, I never know) so many people deal with it either directly or indirectly, and coming from first hand experience, it can be devastating to a family.
Good on you,
Thanks a lot, I'm glad you can appreciate the article and hope it offers some kind of solidarity!
DeleteAs a side note to anyone else who'd like a much better way of explaining how it feels to be depressed, I could recommend nothing better than this: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/depression-part-two.html
Salient words. Spoke to me.
ReplyDeleteI have been shockingly absent from here these past weeks and months, for which I offer much sorriness.
ReplyDeleteI'm almost certainly one of those who doesn't properly understand, so probably also one of those who ought to read more first hand accounts like this. So thanks. And give the imposter a punch in the face from me?
[Awkward affectionate and not at all patronising pat on shoulder]