i am who i am

i am who i am

I am who I am,

But close the curtains.

The neighbours needn’t see

What I’m watching on TV:

Shut the windows.

In my abode I am king

And my mind’s the castle,

But one thing:

Lift the drawbridge.

The neighbours needn’t know

I listen to The Smiths and enjoy a cup of tea.

Yes, proud to be me but

The neighbours needn’t know

I’m alone,

Thirty, balding.

No girlfriend as such

But a lifetime too scared to say ‘hi’.

And with a lower case ‘I’,

i am who i am.

A shadow stealing the place of a man.

An understudy in my own play,

And screaming in my own way.

No round of applause

As the curtains open;

Mask on, stepping on lies.

And a stronger man trapped in my eyes.

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This is a poem I wrote a while back. I don't really share what I write, so please be gentle. But I felt like putting it out there as I really like this one. For me, what I write serves its good because it makes me happy. Moulding a beautiful idea into words is a tremendous power, and feeling. So I've never really felt inclined to share, because it already makes me happy and I'd hate it if I let other people's feelings impose on such a concept which made me happy beforehand.

/sentimental disclaimer

But seriously, thoughts and feelings are appreciated. Hope you enjoy it.

(edit: I moved this introduction to after the poem as I don't want my thoughts marring the poem before you've read it)

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(edit:

I felt as if I should write a little about it. I do basically see poetry as moulding a single idea and stretching it out into lines. This idea was based on the fact that I'd always have to take my grandparents' wine bottles to the dump as my grandma refused to put them outside for collection, as the neighbours would be able to see how much they drink. It made me think about the social mask we all wear, and the people we pretend to be for society. Something like American Beauty.

The voice is inspired by The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock massively, because I adore that poem so fucking much. If you haven't read that you should go and read it now. It's utter heartbreak shaped into a single poem.

Peace and love, brothers.